Dr Logan?
by Lovin' Big Time Rush
Summary: WARNING: SLASH! "Guys..." Logan took a deep breath. This was going to be hard.  "Spit it out Logie!" Carlos, his boyfriend, said smiling a cute dimply smile. That only made it harder for him to say it.


**A/N: Ok so here's another one-shot. I wrote this Thursday after our band director of 4 years told us he was leaving... So sorry for all the sadness but i couldn't help it. This is secretly dedicated to him ((heart)). I hope you enjoy it, and please review. Thanks ^.^ **

"Guys..." Logan took a deep breath. This was going to be hard.

"Spit it out Logie!" Carlos, his boyfriend, said smiling a cute dimply smile. That only made it harder for him to say it. He looked over to Kendall and James. They were both waiting patiently for Logan's next words. He felt like there was something blocking his throat.

"I've- I've decided to quit the band and become a doctor." he thought getting it off his chest would make him feel better, it did just the opposite. Kendall's mouth dropped open, James' eyes widened, and Carlos just stared at him. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry..." he weakly apologized. A tear slipped from Carlos' eye. He quickly wiped it away and shook his head. He gave Logan this look, this look that said "how could you?", then he turned on his heel and left. Logan opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He should've told Carlos sooner- no he should've asked Carlos if he was okay with this. How could he make a huge decision like this without consulting his boyfriend? James still stood there with his eyes wide, but Kendall slowly came out of his shocked state.

"Go after him." he said simply, pointing in the direction that Carlos had left. Logan's legs felt like they were full of lead. He so desperately wanted to run after Carlos, to know how he felt about this, but he just couldn't move. James gave him a hard shove. Logan almost fell to the floor, but caught himself just in time.

"Go." James whispered. Logan nodded and started to run. He heard sniffling coming from the bathroom. He cautiously opened the door. One of the stalls was occupied.

"...Carlos?" Logan asked standing in front of the stall. He knew it was Carlos in the stall, he just didn't know what else to say. Carlos flung the door open. His nose was tinted pink, his eyes was red, and his face was streaked with tears.

"How could you do this to me? To them? To the band? How could you just get up and quit, no elaboration, no discussion, nothing? Do you know how hard a long distance relationship is? Do you know your splitting up the band? Ruining James' dreams? Killing our dreams? Did you even think about how this would effect anyone other than yourself?" Carlos yelled speaking his thoughts. He didn't hold anything back. He wanted Logan to know how he felt. He felt betrayed, left behind, unwanted, and unworthy. Logan didn't know what to say. His mouth just fell open, tears slowly filling his eyes. He was so surprised, he couldn't even be proud of Carlos for using a big word like elaborate. Carlos just shook his head. "You know what? Forget all those questions, just answer me this: How could you look at us all day and kiss me this morning, knowing that you were going to leave us? How come you didn't feel guilty?" Carlos was serious, he wanted to know. Logan still stood there speechless.

"I wanted to tell you, but i wanted to wait for the right time." Logan wanted to say, but he just couldn't. Carlos huffed and stormed away. Logan didn't run after him this time. Maybe it was because Kendall and James weren't there to tell him to, or maybe it was because he thought Carlos was right. Carlos was right. No need denying it. Logan should have talked to Kendall, James, and Carlos, he should have thought about how it would effect them, and he should have considered his relationship with Carlos. But he didn't. And it was too late now.

*** Logan packed up yet another shirt. He had already told Gustavo and Kelly that he was leaving. That wasn't as hard as telling his best friends, but Gustavo yelling at him only made him feel worse. He had profusely apologized to Kendall and James, and they had told him it was okay to follow his dreams. Carlos had been avoiding him though. He sighed. Carlos was the hardest one to leave. He heard the shuffling of feet behind him. He turned around to find his boyfriend- or whatever Carlos was to him right now- standing behind him.

"I'm sorry i blew up at you. Being a doctor was always your dream, and now you have the chance to make it a reality. I- uh- hope it all works out." Carlos fell silent. Logan felt tears stinging in his eyes. Carlos desperately wanted to throw his arms around Logan's neck, kissing him and begging him to stay. He wanted to beg Logan to pick him over becoming a doctor, but he just couldn't do it.

"Thanks." Logan managed to squeak out. Carlos just nodded. "So...um...where does that leave us?" Logan asked in a small voice concentrating on his shoes.

"I guess as really good friends..." Carlos felt like his heart was being ripped out. He didn't want to break up with him, but he just couldn't have a long distance relationship. No matter how much he loved Logan, he just couldn't be put into a long distance relationship because he knew they didn't work. Logan felt like his heart was on fire. His heart was burning and there was nothing he could do about it. He just wanted to curl into a ball and cry. Instead he cleared his throat.

"Okay. Don't cry over me." he laughed a little trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't cry." Carlos replied sharply. He deemed the conversation over and left the room. He lied. Of course Carlos cried. Logan knew that Carlos had lied, but he didn't care. That wasn't the point. The point was that he was making a mistake leaving, and he knew that. He knew he was losing the thing that meant everything to him, his boyfriend, by leaving, but he was doing it anyway.


End file.
